Menu
There are several characters whose lives will impact the hero in my newest book. As I was writing, I searched for a way to incorporate more of their thoughts, emotions, and struggles into the book. My biggest dilemma? The book is written in 1st person.
I enjoy 1st person because of its intimate connection to the lead character. I also find 1st person frustrating because I can’t flesh out secondary characters the way I love to in 3rd person.
So I asked the Lord, “How can I make 1st person read like 3rd person?”
He lead me to Nehemiah, a book of the Bible written in 1st person (from Nehemiah’s point of view) that reads like 3rd person.
These are the ideas I gleaned from my study. Let’s learn from the Master Storyteller!
1) Make your viewpoint character observe the actions of those around them.
Sometimes our heroes are too internally focused. We need to focus their attention outside of themselves and let the readers know who is around them and what those people are doing.
Nehemiah 3:1
Eliashib the high priest and his fellow priests went to work and rebuilt the Sheep Gate. They dedicated it and set its doors in place, building as far as the Tower of the Hundred, which they dedicated, and as far as the Tower of Hananel.
Nehemiah 4:16-18a
From that day on, half of my men did the work, while the other half were equipped with spears, shields, bows and armor. The officers posted themselves behind all the people of Judah who were building the wall. Those who carried materials did their work with one hand and held a weapon in the other, and each of the builders wore his sword at his side as he worked.
2) Create dialogue the viewpoint character hears but does not engage in.
In this situation, while a conversation may have something to do with your lead character, he or she doesn’t say anything. He or she may not even be present for the dialogue.
Dialogue always furthers the story plot, and it’s a great way for secondary characters to express thoughts, feelings, and quirks – even their role in the story. Just as we get to know people through conversations in this world, we get to know book characters through their dialogue.
Nehemiah 4:1-3
When Sanballet heard that we were rebuilding the wall, he became angry and was greatly incensed. He ridiculed the Jews, and in the presence of his associates and the army of Samaria, he said, “What are those feeble Jews doing? Will they restore their wall? Will they offer sacrifices? Will they finish in a day? Can they bring the stones back to life from those heaps of rubble – burned as they are?” Tobiah the Ammonite, who was at his side, said, “What they are building – if even a fox climbed up on it, he would break down their wall of stones!”
3) Have them tell/think about other characters without relating it to themselves.
In 1st person, all that the viewpoint character thinks or narrates is all we, the readers, know. Until the hero observes other people and describes their features, characteristics, works, relations, etc., we know nothing about them.
In his personal account, Nehemiah most often observes and describes God.
Nehemiah 9:5b
“Blessed be your glorious name, and may it be exalted above all blessing and praise. You alone are the LORD. You made the heavens, even the highest heavens, and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give life to everything, and the multitudes of heaven worship you.”
So, say “goodbye” to the frustrating single-mindness of 1st person! No more getting stuck inside the hero. We’re fleshing out secondary characters in 1st person so that it resembles 3rd person. Yay!
I incorporated these three elements into my most recent work, and I think it gave a lot more depth to the storyline as well as my secondary characters.
But, don’t take my word for it. Go, try it yourself, dear writer.
No one understand writing like God, the Author of life, words, and books. I don’t know all that He knows about making 1st person read like 3rd person.
Nonetheless, I hope these few ideas help you write a more satisfactory and well-rounded 1st person story for the glory of God.
Alyson Jensen